I'm still missing you.
So much, that it hurts.
The thing about losing someone you love is that it turns beautiful memories into sad ones. The smile that brought you joy now brings tears to your eyes and the voice that you expect to hear everyday now vanishes into thin air.
It all seemed surreal at first but when the reality sunk in, all I could do was to hug myself, trying my best to keep intact and not crumbling. I can still clearly remember you waving back at me and how I turned around to look at you one more time before leaving for class because I somehow had a feeling that I won't be seeing you much longer. There was one time when you were barely conscious and I was holding your hand and accidentally called out 'Pipi Mochi' and the next second your eyes fluttered open, staring back at me and your hands with all the power left in them grasped my hand back. I am so glad that I had the time to proclaim 'We Love You' to you, although I hoped I had said that a million times when you were around. I can never forget how you hug me tight after I said it, even when you had so little energy left. I love you, I love you, I love you.
Another thing that I remembered clearly was how you asked me to lie next to you on the hospital bed and your soft hands caressing my head and back, drowning ourselves in nostalgia on how we used to sleep together when I was a child. I wished we had never stopped doing that.
I'm still missing you.
And I know that I always will. The day you're gone, you left a hole inside of me and there is no one else can fit in. All I could do is to learn how to live my bare days without you and it still pains me.
The future is coming and I don't want to lose you as much as it hurts me.
So much, that it hurts.
The thing about losing someone you love is that it turns beautiful memories into sad ones. The smile that brought you joy now brings tears to your eyes and the voice that you expect to hear everyday now vanishes into thin air.
It all seemed surreal at first but when the reality sunk in, all I could do was to hug myself, trying my best to keep intact and not crumbling. I can still clearly remember you waving back at me and how I turned around to look at you one more time before leaving for class because I somehow had a feeling that I won't be seeing you much longer. There was one time when you were barely conscious and I was holding your hand and accidentally called out 'Pipi Mochi' and the next second your eyes fluttered open, staring back at me and your hands with all the power left in them grasped my hand back. I am so glad that I had the time to proclaim 'We Love You' to you, although I hoped I had said that a million times when you were around. I can never forget how you hug me tight after I said it, even when you had so little energy left. I love you, I love you, I love you.
Another thing that I remembered clearly was how you asked me to lie next to you on the hospital bed and your soft hands caressing my head and back, drowning ourselves in nostalgia on how we used to sleep together when I was a child. I wished we had never stopped doing that.
And I know that I always will. The day you're gone, you left a hole inside of me and there is no one else can fit in. All I could do is to learn how to live my bare days without you and it still pains me.
The future is coming and I don't want to lose you as much as it hurts me.
I'm sure there will come a time when you will become of the most beautiful memory in me, exactly what you are supposed to be.
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